I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize