we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
