Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
