so let's talk penis.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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