She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
