I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
