Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
