Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
