your parents love me but you hate me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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