no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
