his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
