i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
