That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
