Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
