It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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