She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
