I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
