Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize