That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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