he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
