you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize