i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
