yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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