rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize