i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
