no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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