im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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