Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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