i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
