And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
