we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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