were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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