i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
