Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
