Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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