I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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