Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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