Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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