the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
