Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
