how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
they need to just BURY HIM!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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