I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
