I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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