96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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