okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
