She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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