All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
