I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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