wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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