Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
