Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize