elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
