fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
