what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
