Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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