That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
