His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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