did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
