you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
